The End March 3, 2010

I’ve found that coming home has been quite a process…. I’m different than when I left, and a lot has changed while I was away. But I don’t feel the need to blog about the things that happen to me anymore. I can just call my friends or talk to my family about the feelings I’m having and the challenges I’m facing rather than being alone and using the blog as my only outlet. Therefore, my blog has come to its natural end. I’ve learned so much about myself, the world, and my role in it over the past months, and all the challenges I faced I was able to survive, if not overcome. I’m not the type of person who found India to be a spiritual mecca, but nor can I dismiss it as just a land of poverty and snake charmers. India’s culture tested me, broke me more than once, and now I am able to reflect on how the experience helped make me a stronger person for the future. I miss my real friends, Gulalai, Namuun, and Margaret because I find my American friends’ sense of humor overly sarcastic and shallow; I miss the genuine tight bonds I shared with my international hostel friends. I miss the spontaneity and chaos India offered in nearly every aspect of life, and I miss the way that time didn’t really matter all that much. Still, I am so deeply grateful for being home with my family, for warm water to wash the dishes with on chilly evenings, and for the freedom to do what I want when I want and to have my opinions to be taken just as seriously as any man’s. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my time abroad. I have met some other youth who had a much more relaxing time in India than I had, but I wouldn’t change anything about my time there because it helped me to see the world around me with a bigger, more compassionate heart in the end.

I am truly grateful to everyone who has read my blogs and sent me support through comments, email, facebook, snail mail, and through my family by word of mouth. My spirits were lifted each time someone from the US reminded me that they cared about how I was doing in India. If nothing else, I hope this blog has served as a tool to remind everyone who has read how lucky they are to have been born  in the US in the current era. I went to India because I wanted to help, but now I realize that the most appropriate work for each of us to do is in our own backyards (so to speak). There is so much work to do like mentoring kids at our local schools, helping those who’ve lost jobs, spending time with the elderly who have no family, growing our own foods, protecting our local environments for future generations and taking time to really reflect on what and who is truly important to us. I’m so fortunate to have had the opportunity to live in India, and now that I’m back I plan to fully engage with the community that less than a year ago I was so eager to trade for international adventures.

Thanks again to the Rotary Foundation and especially the Rotary Club of Plant City, FL for making my scholarship possible, and thanks to my family, my boyfriend, Ross, and my best friends, Angela and Gulalai, for always being there for me.

Who knows… I may just start a cooking blog next Until next blog, Namaste!

Publix Journey February 25, 2010

And this is why I love my hometown:

I went to Publix today feeling tired and a little grumpy for no particular reason. I picked out a giant pineapple for another culinary adventure I was planning and stopped by the sample stand on my way to the register. The jolly lady offered me some salad that was leftover from the main dish which was finished which was a perfect snack for my meat-free diet. She laughed and made a joke about God knowing I would come and finish off the salad which I found entertaining. At the register the cashier reminded me that if I want a free pineapple bush all I have to do is plant the green top of the fruit and wait a few months! I smiled again, appreciating the little interactions which make life fulfilling. Yes, it was only a bite-sized salad and a suggestion from one aspiring gardener to another, but it made me so infinitely happy to be home.

There’s No Place Like Home February 22, 2010

Ahhhh the luxury of  being home and sleeping in your own bed with your own dog and waking up to a hot shower. The past few days I’ve just been savoring everything I’d missed about home. It’s great to be back here with my family and pets, though I haven’t seen many of my friends yet because just being back in the country has proved shocking enough. Some things that shocked me: elderly people working (cleaning the airport for example), the quiet and calmness of life even in “stressful” situations like traffic or interpersonal conflict, the ease and convenience of absoultely every activity be it washing clothes and dishes, shopping for food, bathing, or trying to find information, the way we pamper and shelter our kids in America, and the separation between us and our environment provided by heating in our homes and sealed-off transportation like cars. Coming back home has so far helped me realize how much time people spend stressing about thing that will probably never happen or if they do happen are probably of very little consequence in the grand scheme of things.

The first few days were spent adjusting to my old life, and now I’m coming to a place where I can start to critique the way I live here and start to build a more holistic, sustainable life.

This is kinda related: I really love those avacado spring rolls from Publix, so I thought I would try to make them and they turned out delicious!! I highly recomend everyone making them at leat once. They’re really healthy and tasty, and they are really flexible so you can use are of your favorite veggies or even meats or fish! Ok, so first thing get some spring roll wrappers from the grocery store of chinese grocery store. They may sound exotic, but they’re really inexpensive so don’t fret. Then chop up whatever filling you want in long, thin slices (I used cucmber without seeds, carrots, avacado and red cabbage). Soak a spring roll wrapper in warm water for a few secondsd until it gets soft, then spread it out on a plate, arrange your fillings in a horizontal line on the wrapper, then fold over the ends and roll the wrapper to enclose the fillings! I also made a really awesome Sweet Thai Sauce for dipping which really makes the rolls perfect. Just boil 1/2 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup of water, 1/2 cup cider vinegar, 4 cloves garlic, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1 Tablespoon red chilli flakes (or hots sauce or real peppers to your liking) until it becomes thick like a dippable jelly then enjoy with your rolls! Super healthy, super fast, and super tasty!  Try it tonight!

Airport Fiasco February 16, 2010

You cannot even imagine what happened to me at the airport last night, but the end of the story is that I’m back in the hostel.

The bad news: I have never been so upset in my life. After saying goodbye to my best friends I will never see again, leaving the hostel, going all the way to the airport, checking my luggage, and waiting in line at customs, I am informed that I do not have the proper stamp on my visa. Apparently I was supposed to register myself with the FRRO if I’m staying more than 6 months (what ind of student stays less than 6 months?!). I explained that I wan’t aware of this rule and that I had registered with the US Embassy in Delhi. This was not enough. I started crying because I had said goodbye to India and my friends and was mentally preparing to come home, and now that I had closed my bank account, had no Rupees, no way home, no hostel room to go to (warden gave my spot away already), and not even my mattress anymore, these people were telling me without even an “I’m sorry about this” that i would just have to go to the office and wait all day so I could get the stamp then pay for a new flight home in teh next few days. Pretty soon I was not onl crying but shaking, crumpled up on the airport floor in an attempt to save myself from passing out as I was feeling dizzy from hyperventilating. I didn’t want to call home and worry my family, and I didn’t have any way home or any home to go to! Finally I managed to pull out a paper with the warden’s number out of my pocket and held it out to the woman; I couldn’t even speak a sentence to her I was so upset. She guessed that I wanted to call this number than I let warden talk to the American Airlines lady. She told me to wait outside and she picked me up an hour later. By this time I had calmed down and eaten a snack so I was at least not hysterical anymore.

Good news: I came back to the hostel and slept on Gulalai and Namuun’s beds pushed together for the three of us. Warden came with me to the FRRO and helped me cut through some of the red tape by speaking Hindi to the people and pleading with them that I had to catch my flight tonight. I called American Airlines and rescheduled my flight for tonight, and I’ll be home just one day later than expected, hopefully.

So keep your fingers crossed and maybe next time I write a blog it will be from home

Goodbye February 15, 2010

So Gulalai’s birthday was so much fun! We went to Pizza Hut for lunch and had cake and ice cream for dessert, then we rode a lot of rides at Adventure Island. We had KFC with more cake for dinner with Gulalai’s Afghan friend, Fakhriah, and then we surprised Gulalai with an aquarium and more caek at midnight. We named the four fish Julie, Gulalai, Namuun, and Margaret, of course!

So with more tears in my eyes than I’d like to admit, I say goodbye to India tonight. I will surely miss many things about it that I have yet to anticipate. My adventure is ending, but I know that big part of it has yet to begin. See ya on the flipside!

Goodbyes February 12, 2010

Tonight was such a surprise! I met up with my Rotaract friends in South Delhi to say goodbye to them, and on top of a delicious oreo/brownie shake and wonderfully chill ambiance, Marco got me a chocolate cake with oreos on it, and a framed picture of all of us in Mumbai, and Ritika gave me a huge bouquet of pink flowers! There was also a card signed by everyone too! Vir also gave me a card and some wonderful chocolates! I was so overwhelmed and surprised! It was enough for me that they all came together to say goodbye, but all these thoughtful gifts put me into shock!

I am really excited for the next few days before I come home because they are packed with activities with my favorite people here in Delhi! Tomorrow I’ll go say goodbye to my classes then go buy a cake for Gulalai’s birthday, then we are taking her to a little adventure park here in North Delhi but she doesn’t know where we are taking her! After that, we’ll have cake and dinner with Fakhriah  in Kamla Nagar! Then at midnight we’ll bring her cake and candles and cookies in the hostel Today I bought her birthday present: an aquarium with four little fishes (one for me, Margaret, Namun and Gulalai) and plants and rocks, an aerator and fish food of course! So we’ll give that to her also. Sunday I’m taking her to the International Doll Museum (she loves dolls!) in Central Delhi then I’ll cook grilled cheese which she loves for dinner! Then it will be Monday and I’ll go last-minute shopping with Margaret and finish packing. Then it will be time to say goodbye. And that’s the part where my excitement runs out, and I just start becoming sad for my friends and our good memories. Let’s hope all my plans turn out and we are able to enjoy our last few days together.

Beauty in the Breakdown February 9, 2010

My best friend in the US introduced me to a song called “Let Go” by Frou Frou before I left for India. It’s about letting go and giving in when life seems to stressful. It says there’s “beauty int he breakdown.” As I starting stressing about coming home from my adventure, I listened to that song and tried to find the beauty in this experience ending. I am having such mixed feelings!

On the one hand, I am very excited to get back home to my family, neighborhood, and the feeling of belonging associated with coming home after living in a foreign land, but on the other hand I will quite literally never see my friends here again. I am starting to appreciate all the random things about India like petting cows on the street, riding bike rickshaws, eating street food without washing my hands, and even Indian toilets! Everyone who has made a similiar journey to mine has told me that coming home is even harder than adjusting to India because you will get reverse culture shock: while you were gone you forgot many things about America and about our culture which may shock or disturb you upon return. It makes me feel uneasy to know that though I am going home, there are many thigns which are going to feel foreign to me.

My mom was talking about putting something in the microwave last night when I spoe with her, and I remembered that sometimes when I was at home I could just take leftovers out of the refrigerator and place them directly in the microwave, wait 30 seconds and then have a meal ready!!! The thought blew me away… it’s just so easy that from this far away it seems nearly imporssible! I know it’s possible because I’ve done it my whole life, but I haven’t had either of those things for so long now that it seems magical that soon I will have both at my disposal 24/7! The scary thing to me is that I don’t know how either of those contraptions work… like how does a refrigerator make that cold air? What kind of waves are heating my food? We rely so much on these gadgets at home, but does anyone really understand how they work? That to me is a little scary, but at least I know I can survive happily without them if need be.

I’m also really excited about coming home because I get to be a Resident Assistant at UCF when I come home again. I love being an RA, and I have a lot of ideas about how to make my floor the best one ever next year! In fact, I am already planning programs in my head, and I hope to help my new freshmen have a great first year at college by giving them support and challenging them to build community where they live.

On an unrelated note, it got chilly here today and it was even raining! The wind was not pleasant either! I can’t wait for springtime to come around, and I hope the sun is shining when I get home!

Rotary Wedding February 7, 2010

After searching all over Kamla Nagar, I finally found a saree shop which could tailor the blouse in the same day! Everyone else claimed they needed at least a week! Plus I fell in love with a light turqoise saree with sequins all over, so I decided to go ahead and tag along to the wedding! I traveled to South Delhi and caught a ride with the American team leader and the President of the South Central club. His wife helped me wrap my saree, and I was very excited about finally experiencing what it feels like to dress like a proper Indian lady.

The wedding was quite huge with several hundred people all milling around under a tent made of silky fabrics complete with chandeliers, gigantic flowers and candle displays, and a stage especially for the bride and groom. The ceremony was just ending when we arrived (they say the ceremonies are traditionally held after midnight, but they are getting earlier and earlier these days), and the couple was seated in front of the sacred fire and was showered by flower petals by all their family memebers. They were then given blessings by the elders.

The bride wore a dress so laden with gold ornaments it’s a wonder it stayed up! On each hand were tied a bunch of golden bells which were tied onto her as blessings from her family. She wears a nose ring that is so heavy that is clipped to her hair with a gold chain as to not damage her nose. He wears a heavy turban and all the male members of his family also wear red turbans to identify as blood relations. He will traditionally begin the ceremony by arriving on horseback! I’m not too sure of the particulars of the wedding ceremony as everyone seems to be more keen on eating, drinking and partying during and after the ceremony rather than watching the priests.

The food was quite extensive… the buffet wrapped all the way around the tent enclosure. There were plenty of non-veg options; a whole goat with it’s face and feet still on was roasting on an open flame for decoration, and various muttons, chickens, goats, lobsters, and shrimps were displayed silver platters. I found some tasty paneer followed by a chocolate mousse and chai! Too good! Everyone was enjoying the two huge bars also, and one table was overflowing with presents for the newlyweds. Overall it was a really good experience to watch the end of the wedding ceremony, see the bride close-up, chat with the toher Americans about their experience, and get to wear my very own saree!

Here are pictures from the event:

http://picasaweb.google.co.in/joolrd/Wedding?authkey=Gv1sRgCIqf-cq-4Ii0yAE&feat=directlink

Delhi Southeast Meeting February 5, 2010

Tonight’s meeting was one of the last I’ll attend here in India, and it went great! There was a GSE (group study exchange) team from California there presenting about their sponsor clubs, but my speech was the star of the night! Everyone loved my pictures, and I think I have finally mastered the Indian sense of humor well enough to make the crowd laugh when I want to. Ashok came to the meeting too which is nice because he was able to see all the things I’ve been doing over the past months.

The best part of the meeting, though, was the fact that I got invited to a wedding! Finally! I have been wanting to go since I arrived last summer, and although it’s short notice I am excited to try to get a sari made for the occasion! I will keep you posted on what happens

Delhi Panschila Park February 3, 2010

Today I had a great presentation… I would say it was the best so far! Marco, Danika and I presented together to Rotary Club of Delhi Panschila Park at the Indian International Center. The club was really welcoming to us, and they were so excited to hear about our experiences both in our home countries and in India. It was interesting to hear Danika and Marco talk about their experiences because in some ways we have all had things in common, but different aspects of our stay have impacted us differently. One thing I think we’re all taking home is a deep understanding of how lucky we are to have been born where we were born and to have the freedoms and opportunities that we have. The club gave us gifts to take home, and we also had a delicious dinner!

I decided to hire a taxi back to college because I was already running late for my 10pm curfew. After some heated debate, I agreed to pay the driver Rs. 250 for the ride on the condition that he could give change. He was very crafty, just like all the other drivers I have ever know, so I knew he was just trying to be nice to me so he could ask for more money in the end. Regardless, I made small talk and laughed when he started singing a Hindi love song entitled “Juli.” But, just as expected when I arrived at the hostel he claimed he had no change. Luckily, the guy who works in the hostel’s cyber cafe was just leaving, and I am always friendly with him so I knew he would help me out. I called for him to tell the driver to give me correct change and a few other guys got attracted by the arguing and soon five people were arguing on behalf with the driver! Finally he gave me the correct change and I went inside the hostel. By this time, though, it was 10:30pm! When the gate guard told me the time, I said “oh no! Warden will kill me!” He laughed as he had witnessed the hulabaloo with the driver and told me to write 10pm instead and nobody would be the wiser! I am glad that I have forged these relationships over the past months so they will help me out in times of need like tonight!

In other news, it looks like we are back to square one with Gulalai’s practicals. The Examination branch office issued us two different letters; one stated that she was exempt from them after we visited the deputy registrar’s office three times, and the other letter was issued by the dean of examinations himself which claimed she could not be exempted as per university rules. We went to the Proctor of the University (who is in Rotary by chance) and he said that the dean’s letter would stand because he is of higher position. He is writing to the principal of our college asking her to arrange for Gulalai’s marks from last year to be carried forward to this year because he says it is an internal college matter. Why didn’t anyone tell us this months ago?! Why have we been running around hunting down deans and other officials all this time when all we needed to do was pressure the principal to, god forbid, help her students?! Very frustrating work indeed… still we are hopeful that she will help. If she doesn’t agree to it, then Gulalai will have to attend practicals and spend one whole month on practical exams (there are 18 exams minimum!!) rather than spend the time studying for theory classes. She is starting to get really sad about the whole matter, and I feel rather helpless after trying so many things and still having no definite answer.

On a more positive note, I taught Namun and Margaret how to make pancakes the other night and they have been making them ever since! They love them with butter and honey! It is a relief for them to cook and take their minds away from trash-talking friends, Indian bureaucracy, and final exams. I know they will miss me when I leave, and I am starting to think that I will miss more than I can anticipate when I get home.